I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize