God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
