Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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