Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize