I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize