Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
