their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
