...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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