Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
