Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
