Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
