I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
