Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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