Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
