For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
