You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
