I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
