Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
