end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
