all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
