He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
