he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dicks are not precious.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
