***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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