please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
