Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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