At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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