I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Randomize
