That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize