its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
