If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
