the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
