The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize