Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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