IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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