If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
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