can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
