so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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