I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
