I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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