I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
