I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My dick has a subreddit
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
