3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize