I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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