It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
