I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
sarcasm needs its own font
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize