We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
