were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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