but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize