You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
