Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drake has all the answers
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
