It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
