I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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