You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
