I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Everclear isn't food dammit
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
