he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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