I saw his package. It spoke to me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
