Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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