How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
