And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
