i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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