I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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