Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize