Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
