i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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