butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I smell like Dick and happiness
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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