sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
