im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize